Show everyone that your humor is * chef's kiss * and also that you're a super great person because you support these amazing creatures.
A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front (kangaroo not included). The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.
.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester .: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Sewn in label .: Runs true to size
.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester .: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Sewn in label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless Farm Kids Tee
Regular price
$159.00
Save $-159.00
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Show everyone that you're a great person because you support these amazing creatures. And also you must be funny if you like my nonsense.
A tee with softness that is perfect for a toddler's sensitive skin. With a durable, high quality print, it's a perfect fit for the first ventures.
.: 100% combed ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless Farm Signed by Karen Hoodie
Regular price
$436.00
Save $-436.00
/
Idk if this is what you'd call a logo upgrade, but that's what Karen said
.: Made with 100% ring-spun cotton, a lightweight fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)), this unisex t-shirt feels like a bliss to wear all year round. .: The classic fit with the crew neckline deliver a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion, whether it's formal or semi-formal. .: All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort. .: Made using ethically grown and harvested US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. This blank tee is certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance. .: Fabric blends: Heather colors - 35% ring-spun cotton, 65% polyester; Sport Grey and Antique colors - 90% cotton, 10% polyester, Graphite Heather - 50% ring-spun cotton, 50% polyester
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless Farm Signed by Karen Tee
Regular price
$317.00
Save $-317.00
/
Idk if this is what you'd call a logo upgrade, but that's what Karen said
.: Made with 100% ring-spun cotton, a lightweight fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)), this unisex t-shirt feels like a bliss to wear all year round. .: The classic fit with the crew neckline deliver a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion, whether it's formal or semi-formal. .: All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort. .: Made using ethically grown and harvested US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. This blank tee is certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance. .: Fabric blends: Heather colors - 35% ring-spun cotton, 65% polyester; Sport Grey and Antique colors - 90% cotton, 10% polyester, Graphite Heather - 50% ring-spun cotton, 50% polyester
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless Farm Tee
Regular price
$286.00
Save $-286.00
/
Show everyone that your humor is * chef's kiss * and also that you're a great person because you support these amazing creatures.
Made from very soft cotton, this tee is really comfortable for an active lifestyle.
.: 100% Cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) .: Eurofit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
.: 100% Cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) .: Eurofit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) .: Retail fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Wall Calendars (2025)
Regular price
$238.00
Save $-238.00
/
Official Useless Farm 2025 Calendar so you don't forget your meetings like Michael smh
.: Two sizes to choose from: 11" x 8.5" (matte) and 14" x 11.5" (glossy) .: High quality paper stock .: Large vibrant images for each month .: Spiral binding .: Centered hole for hanging .: NB! The grid area will remain matte for all variants to ensure the best writability for the customer
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless Merch is almost as good as a human cuddle (but not quite)
Doug
Hasn't helped my anxiety, but at least the shirts are comfortable?!
Keith
Get me off this $&#! website or I'm gonna #&$!# end you!