.: Material: water-resistant vinyl .: Suitable for indoor and short-term outdoor use .: Quantity: one sheet per listing .: Assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Keith's Anxiety Hoodie
Regular price
$42.99
Save $-42.99
/
Keith was nervous to put this on the website but wants to know how bad your anxiety is today. I'm a solid Keith.
A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front. The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.
.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester .: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Sewn in label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Keith's Anxiety Short Sleeve Tee
Regular price
$28.99
Save $-28.99
/
Keith was nervous to put this on the website but wants to know how bad your anxiety is today. I'm a solid Keith.
This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite.
.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) .: Retail fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Needy A$$ Hoodie
Regular price
$42.99
Save $-42.99
/
Doug is a needy ass and now you can be too. Wear this Doug hoodie knowing that Doug wishes that he was as close to you as the material is to your skin. That is Doug's wish. So it is written. So it will be.
A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front. Doug would get into the pocket if he could. The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.
.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester .: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Sewn in label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Needy A$$ Short Sleeve Tee
Regular price
$28.99
Save $-28.99
/
Doug is a needy ass and now you can be too. Wear this Doug shirt knowing that Doug wishes that he was as close to you as the material is to your skin. That is Doug's wish. So it is written. So it will be.
This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite.
.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) .: Retail fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Needy Doug Kid's Tee
Regular price
$19.99
Save $-19.99
/
Kids have HUGE Doug energy - and who could possibly resist a snuggle?
A tee with softness that is perfect for a toddler's sensitive skin. With a durable, high quality print, it's a perfect fit for the first ventures.
.: 100% combed ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Sponsor a Brain Cell for Michael
Regular price
$5.00
Save $-5.00
/
Thank you so, so much for enjoying our nonsense & with your generous support, we hope that one day sweet angel Michael WILL have a thought behind his eyes. Cross your fingers and send thoughts and prayers. Preferably more thoughts than prayers.
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless AF Hoodie
Regular price
$42.99
Save $-42.99
/
Stanley with his flower crown is the absolute epidome of the uselessness that world needs more of. Every time you wear this, imagine Stanley giving you a hug with his tiny little wings. Wait maybe don't do that his wings are gross.
A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front. The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.
.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester .: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Sewn in label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless AF Short Sleeve Tee
Regular price
$28.99
Save $-28.99
/
Stanley with his flower crown is the absolute epidome of the uselessness that world needs more of. Every time you wear this, imagine Stanley giving you a hug with his tiny little wings. Wait maybe don't do that his wings are gross.
This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite.
.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) .: Retail fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless Farm Animals Crewneck
Regular price
$39.99
Save $-39.99
/
Stanley and I are excited to offer this very exclusive sweatshirt, perfect for any occasion, including:
- Business casual officewear
- Making cookies (as long as they aren't cookies with raisins)
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless Farm Hoodie
Regular price
$42.99
Save $-42.99
/
Show everyone that your humor is * chef's kiss * and also that you're a super great person because you support these amazing creatures.
A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front (kangaroo not included). The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.
.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester .: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Sewn in label .: Runs true to size
.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester .: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Sewn in label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless Farm Kids Tee
Regular price
$19.99
Save $-19.99
/
Show everyone that you're a great person because you support these amazing creatures. And also you must be funny if you like my nonsense.
A tee with softness that is perfect for a toddler's sensitive skin. With a durable, high quality print, it's a perfect fit for the first ventures.
.: 100% combed ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless Farm Tee
Regular price
$28.99
Save $-28.99
/
Show everyone that your humor is * chef's kiss * and also that you're a great person because you support these amazing creatures.
Made from very soft cotton, this tee is really comfortable for an active lifestyle.
.: 100% Cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) .: Eurofit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
.: 100% Cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) .: Eurofit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) .: Retail fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Useless Merch is almost as good as a human cuddle (but not quite)
Doug
Hasn't helped my anxiety, but at least the shirts are comfortable?!
Keith
Get me off this $&#! website or I'm gonna #&$!# end you!