Products

Enjoy a delightful aray of Useless Farm stickers! 

.: Material: water-resistant vinyl
.: Suitable for indoor and short-term outdoor use
.: Quantity: one sheet per listing
.: Assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts

Keith was nervous to put this on the website but wants to know how bad your anxiety is today. I'm a solid Keith.

A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front. The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.

.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester
.: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²))
.: Classic fit
.: Sewn in label
.: Runs true to size

Keith was nervous to put this on the website but wants to know how bad your anxiety is today. I'm a solid Keith.

This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite.

.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²))
.: Retail fit
.: Tear away label
.: Runs true to size

Doug is a needy ass and now you can be too. Wear this Doug hoodie knowing that Doug wishes that he was as close to you as the material is to your skin. That is Doug's wish. So it is written. So it will be.

A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front. Doug would get into the pocket if he could. The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.

.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester
.: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²))
.: Classic fit
.: Sewn in label
.: Runs true to size

Doug is a needy ass and now you can be too. Wear this Doug shirt knowing that Doug wishes that he was as close to you as the material is to your skin. That is Doug's wish. So it is written. So it will be.

This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite.

.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²))
.: Retail fit
.: Tear away label
.: Runs true to size

Kids have HUGE Doug energy - and who could possibly resist a snuggle?

A tee with softness that is perfect for a toddler's sensitive skin. With a durable, high quality print, it's a perfect fit for the first ventures.

.: 100% combed ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²))
.: Classic fit
.: Tear away label
.: Runs true to size

Thank you so, so much for enjoying our nonsense & with your generous support, we hope that one day sweet angel Michael WILL have a thought behind his eyes. Cross your fingers and send thoughts and prayers. Preferably more thoughts than prayers. 

Stanley with his flower crown is the absolute epidome of the uselessness that world needs more of. Every time you wear this, imagine Stanley giving you a hug with his tiny little wings. Wait maybe don't do that his wings are gross.

A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front. The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.

.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester
.: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²))
.: Classic fit
.: Sewn in label
.: Runs true to size

Stanley with his flower crown is the absolute epidome of the uselessness that world needs more of. Every time you wear this, imagine Stanley giving you a hug with his tiny little wings. Wait maybe don't do that his wings are gross.

This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite.

.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²))
.: Retail fit
.: Tear away label
.: Runs true to size

Stanley and I are excited to offer this very exclusive sweatshirt, perfect for any occasion, including:

- Business casual officewear

- Making cookies (as long as they aren't cookies with raisins)

- Red carpet events

- Weddings

- Walking the dog

- Karen says you can wear it to my funeral

.: 50% cotton, 50% polyester
.: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²))
.: Loose fit
.: Sewn-in label
.: Runs true to size

Stanley and I are excited to offer this very exclusive hoodie, perfect for any occasion, including:

- Business casual officewear

- Making cookies (as long as they aren't cookies with raisins)

- Red carpet events

- Weddings

- Walking the dog

- Karen says you can wear it to my funeral

.: 50% cotton, 50% polyester
.: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²))
.: Loose fit
.: Sewn-in label
.: Runs true to size

Stanley and I are excited to offer this very exclusive tshirt, perfect for any occasion, including:

- Business casual officewear

- Making cookies (as long as they aren't cookies with raisins)

- Red carpet events

- Weddings

- Walking the dog

- Karen says you can wear it to my funeral

.: 50% cotton, 50% polyester
.: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²))
.: Loose fit
.: Sewn-in label
.: Runs true to size

Show everyone that your humor is * chef's kiss * and also that you're a super great person because you support these amazing creatures.

A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front (kangaroo not included). The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.

.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester
.: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²))
.: Classic fit
.: Sewn in label
.: Runs true to size

.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester
.: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²))
.: Classic fit
.: Sewn in label
.: Runs true to size

Show everyone that you're a great person because you support these amazing creatures. And also you must be funny if you like my nonsense.

A tee with softness that is perfect for a toddler's sensitive skin. With a durable, high quality print, it's a perfect fit for the first ventures.

.: 100% combed ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²))
.: Classic fit
.: Tear away label
.: Runs true to size

Show everyone that your humor is * chef's kiss * and also that you're a great person because you support these amazing creatures.

Made from very soft cotton, this tee is really comfortable for an active lifestyle.

.: 100% Cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²))
.: Eurofit
.: Tear away label
.: Runs true to size

.: 100% Cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²))
.: Eurofit
.: Tear away label
.: Runs true to size

.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²))
.: Retail fit
.: Tear away label
.: Runs true to size