A true statement piece that is sure to become a wardrobe staple. Hostile. Assertive. And sure to give you the confidence to keep fighting the good fight. Or the bad fight idk you.
.: 100% cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Medium fabric (6.0 oz/yd² (203 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Tear-away label .: Runs bigger than usual
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
All Fight, No Flight Tee
Regular price
$35.99
Save $-35.99
/
The unisex soft-style t-shirt puts a new spin on casual comfort. Made from very soft materials, this tee is 100% cotton for solid colors. Heather colors and sports grey include polyester. The shoulders have twill tape for improved durability. There are no side seams. The collar is made with ribbed knitting to prevent curling damage.
.: Made with 100% ring-spun cotton, a lightweight fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)), this unisex t-shirt feels like a bliss to wear all year round. .: The classic fit with the crew neckline deliver a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion, whether it's formal or semi-formal. .: All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort. .: Made using ethically grown and harvested US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. This blank tee is certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance. .: Fabric blends: Heather colors - 35% ring-spun cotton, 65% polyester; Sport Grey - 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Donated a brain cell to Michael Hoodie
Regular price
$52.99
Save $-52.99
/
Thank you so brain cell donation, and although the transplant was an unmitigated failure in every possible way, it's the thought that counts. Unless you're Michael. He hasn't had a thought since 1993, bless his heart.
.: 100% ring-spun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) .: Eurofit .: Tear-away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Donated a brain cell to Michael Tee
Regular price
$35.99
Save $-35.99
/
Thank you so brain cell donation, and although the transplant was an unmitigated failure in every possible way, it's the thought that counts. Unless you're Michael. He hasn't had a thought since 1993, bless his heart.
.: 100% ring-spun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) .: Eurofit .: Tear-away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Gary Gusey - Silly Goose Hoodie
Regular price
$52.99
Save $-52.99
/
"Quit being a silly goose" - a person you don't need in your life.
Gary Gusey, esteemed attourney and passionate advocate for Silly Gooses everywhere, would like to thank you for your time and attention to this matter. The price of this hoodie should cover most of his retainer fee. The rest can go on the bill.
.: Made with a medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)) that consists of 50% cotton and 50% polyester for that cozy feel and warmth you need in a hoodie. .: The classic fit along with the pouch pocket and the tear-away label make for a highly comfortable, scratch-free wearing experience. .: The color-matched drawcord and the double-lined hood add a stylish flair and durability that tie everything together. .: Made using 100% ethically grown US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. The blank tee's dyes are OEKO-TEX-certified dyes with low environmental impact. .: Fabric blends: Heather Sport colors - 60% polyester, 40% cotton
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Gary Gusey - Silly Goose T-Shirt
Regular price
$35.99
Save $-35.99
/
"Quit being a silly goose" - a person you don't need in your life.
Gary Gusey, esteemed attourney and passionate advocate for Silly Gooses everywhere, would like to thank you for your time and attention to this matter. The price of this hoodie should cover most of his retainer fee. The rest can go on the bill.
.: Made with 100% ring-spun cotton, a lightweight fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)), this unisex t-shirt feels like a bliss to wear all year round. .: The classic fit with the crew neckline deliver a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion, whether it's formal or semi-formal. .: All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort. .: Made using ethically grown and harvested US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. This blank tee is certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance. .: Fabric blends: Heather colors - 35% ring-spun cotton, 65% polyester; Sport Grey - 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
HOLY SHEET(s of stickers)
Regular price
$19.99
Save $-19.99
/
Enjoy a delightful aray of Useless Farm stickers!
.: Material: water-resistant vinyl .: Suitable for indoor and short-term outdoor use .: Quantity: one sheet per listing .: Assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Keith's Anxiety Hoodie
Regular price
$52.99
Save $-52.99
/
Keith was nervous to put this on the website but wants to know how bad your anxiety is today. I'm a solid Keith.
A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front. The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.
.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester .: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Sewn in label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Keith's Anxiety Short Sleeve Tee
Regular price
$35.99
Save $-35.99
/
Keith was nervous to put this on the website but wants to know how bad your anxiety is today. I'm a solid Keith.
This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite.
.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) .: Retail fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Needy A$$ Hoodie
Regular price
$52.99
Save $-52.99
/
Doug is a needy ass and now you can be too. Wear this Doug hoodie knowing that Doug wishes that he was as close to you as the material is to your skin. That is Doug's wish. So it is written. So it will be.
A unisex heavy blend hooded sweatshirt is relaxation itself. The material is a thick blend of cotton and polyester. This makes for a plush, soft feel alongside warmth. A spacious kangaroo pocket hangs in front. Doug would get into the pocket if he could. The hood's drawstring is the same color as the base sweater.
.: 50% Cotton 50% Polyester .: Medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Sewn in label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Needy A$$ Short Sleeve Tee
Regular price
$35.99
Save $-35.99
/
Doug is a needy ass and now you can be too. Wear this Doug shirt knowing that Doug wishes that he was as close to you as the material is to your skin. That is Doug's wish. So it is written. So it will be.
This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite.
.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) .: Retail fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!
Needy Doug Kid's Tee
Regular price
$19.99
Save $-19.99
/
Kids have HUGE Doug energy - and who could possibly resist a snuggle?
A tee with softness that is perfect for a toddler's sensitive skin. With a durable, high quality print, it's a perfect fit for the first ventures.
.: 100% combed ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors) .: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) .: Classic fit .: Tear away label .: Runs true to size
Width, in
Length, in
Sleeve length, in
S
18
28
8.23
M
20
29.26
8.51
L
21.97
30.24
8.75
XL
23.98
31.26
9.02
2XL
25.99
32.49
9.26
3XL
28
33.51
9.49
We aim for two weeks shipping, but in the event of high volume there may be delays. If there is, we will let you know!
All proceeds go to help the farm, but if you are unhappy with your tee, we will offer a full refund!